i'm not really sure what i'm supposed to be doing. I guess it's a good thing to be born again. You get to do the right things right all over again.
I don't have a lot of longterm friends. I attribute this to my volatile nature. It's difficult to be good right off the bat, and it's harder to consistently be someone you're proud of while remaining the same. I wasn't blessed with the best role models that would encourage me to be the best person I can be. I got better, but it took me more work than others. So I've never had a friend of more than 6 years. Much like life itself, the only thing predictable about me is that I am unpredictable.
At least, when you're born broken, you can fix yourself how you want to. Fill in the gaps of broken porcelain with gold. Or copper if you so desire. The beauty of it is that it is fully your choice. Your call. Yours.
I still like the gymnopedies because someone I don't talk to anymore said it reminds them of me. Soft and chaotic, the way she described it. She was my first kiss. I wasn't a good partner. But she's whom I learned the word "ephemeral" from. I love her dearly in a way that I could not show her when she was still in my life.
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